Tag Archives: gay

MarginsOfTheMargins's avatar

EQUALITY is HERE a reflection during the first day after DOMA and Pro8 being struck down

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I have been walking around today feeling elated and overwhelmed. I have been searching people’s faces for recognition of the change that has just occurred. The change that effects all citizens, in the state and in the world. Granted the people I walking through and around have generally been part of two groups, the citizens of the Tenderloin neighborhood, and the tourists of the shopping district. I have not found a lot of recognition. Some acknowledging my perceived sexuality because of my rainbow bow tie, Tenderloinians and tourists alike. There have been a few with an extra looks that hold that excitement in their eyes and mirror it from mine. We’ve had a shared acknowledgement of a historical moment furthering human rights.

I have also been feeling antsy all day. I am currently in a summer conference which is amazing but confining. So for lunch I sought sunshine, I sought fresh air, I wanted to bask in CALIFORNIA, in the NEW CALIFORNIA. To see how it feels to walk around and know that I am equal, to you, and you, and you, and you! I have to say it feels fantastic!! I simultaneously feel like sticking my tongue out and high fiving anyone and everyone!

While I was eating lunch, a twenty something male approached me to ask if I knew what was happening with the band in Union Square, close to where I was eating lunch. I told him, I am not sure why they are there and whether or not it is related to the Supreme Court Rulings today. He asked, “oh, the Texas thing?” No, new acquaintance, they are not playing music about the women’s rights in Texas which is an immeasurable failure. “Ohhhhh, the GAY THING!” Yes, dude, “the GAY thing!”

THE GAY THING.
The GAY thing.
THE gay thing.
The gay THING?

What does that even mean? First of all, we are not A GAY, we are not a THING! This is not just tax law…this is about HUMANS and whether or not they are treated equally in terms of legal, human rights. He didn’t mean in an inherently negative way, but the thought process that placed me and my rights as a “thing” separately from him, as a self identified straight cisgendered human, who already has his rights, is a negative thing. It was a major red flag and marker of the work that still needs to be done to place The Gays (actually meaning LGBTQQII humans) at an equal level in the minds of those that perceive themselves to be part of the mainstream. At the risk of stating the obvious, I would venture to guess that most straight people, in the US and overall have had interactions with people who are part of the LGBTQQII community. It is not always visible. Just like many possibly marginalizing traits of humans, like mental illness, some physical challenges, health challenges, being A Gay is not always readable without explicitly asking questions.

I asked the young man is he identified as a male identified heterosexual, just to be clear, and he asked my identification. He then asked my who in my relationship holds the masculine. This is automatically problematic because he is functioning from a completely outdated model of gender roles and energy. I answered the question in term that he would understand, but this points very clearly to the need continue expanding the boundaries of the gender definitions and gender continuum.

There are many reasons why this automatic separation is worrisome. One of my favorites is, as stated by one of my favorite characters, “Well, people are usually straight until they’re not.” Period. This could affect you new acquaintance, or your brother or sister, or mom, or dad, or anyone in your life, and it would no longer be A Gay Thing, it would be a YOU thing. Second, any law that equalizes laws for one group, is a step equalizing law for all groups. Understandably the separation that is maintained by a straight male from the Gay Thing is maintaining ones self perceived higher status in power, rights, and humanness.

To recognize that one is equal to a minority group is to recognize vulnerability to discrimination, which is vulnerability to a lessening of power and self perceived status.

So I appreciate this reality check, while I was previously aware of the need for continued work, this was unavoidable example. I will remain on my pink cloud for the moment, by choice, but I will hold within that there is much work still to be done in the perception of equality and gender, about and within the LGBTQQII community, and all marginalized groups.

-CEG

MarginsOfTheMargins's avatar

Anxious about EQUALITY

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I woke up this morning with a feeling of anxiety in my stomach, it was a combination of cautious hopefulness and dread. I feel in a surreal state of being, this feeling spread to my chest and coated the underside of my ribs where it has stayed the entire day.

The political decision that the court will make tomorrow at 10am has put me in this state. I have sensation because of my having finally entered in to a political consciousness. As a young person I was so concerned with my own survival and then my own reprocessing and growth from that survival that it took me much effort to expand my true consciousness to politics.

It truly is surreal to realize that there are other humans, whom I and most others this ruling will affect will never meet, in a room I have never and likely never will see, that will decide the possibility of my fate. They will make a LEGAL RULING that will declare whether or not I am treated equally in my state. It is one of the most intense sensations I have felt in my life. It is more intense to me than the first passing of California marriage equality simply because I was too narcissistic and shameful about myself to feel it. Now I am out and proud and have participated in advocacy for marginalized people. I have seen how legislation changes culture and culture changes legislation. I have seen and touched the differences that laws make in the every day lives of people. Here is one that is affecting the path my life can take. Actually it is offering the possibility of a new path my life could take, a path that had been blocked to me. I had decided since a young age that I would live my life the way I wanted despite the laws that make strong suggestions in a certain direction. I reaffirmed this in myself when I finally came out as gay, that I would live my life to fit my inner being, not the outer expectations. But this is something that can affect the number of choices I have in that life. This will legally declare equality.

This will declare legal equality.

This will make legal equality LAW in my state.

This surreal sensation is multilayered. I am excited to be declared equal, so that no one in this state can tell me other wise, law is law. But there is challenge in being place side by side those that discriminated you. Being placed next to the ones that considered you, “less than,” and called you “different but equal.”

A great weight has been lifted and a great responsibility has been granted.

There is certain strength and power to being in the margins. In a significant way, that will be relinquished tomorrow at 10am. I know this ruling is not a magic fairy wand that will fix all wrongs, but it is a grand jete over the rainbow!

Peace, Love, And Equality to All!

CG

MarginsOfTheMargins's avatar

Research just for [some of] US!

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CARAS- Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities is dedicated to researching people who are considered participating in “alternative sex;” at this current time alternative sex refers to those in the BDSM communities, the LGBTQQI communities, polyamory, open relationships, and anyone who uses kink, fetish, and power dynamics, in their personal life and sexual life.

Because the genre of sex research is a young one and it was primarily focused on procreation trends, it therefore did not include the communities who were not having sex to bear children. This does not only include the communities I mentioned above, but also other minorities, the physically or mentally disabled, the elderly, and youth. These communities are just recently being researched. Why is researching these groups sex life so important? It is important because research that is published has a heavy effect on public opinions; historically research and medical opinions have shaped the mental health, medicine, and business fields, and shaped cultural opinions. These opinions, many time false or misquoted, continue pervasively to shape cultural perspectives that shape lives.

Here is a resource that is aiding in accurate information being published about some of us who have been neglected in research!

Go to C.A.R.A.S. here

MarginsOfTheMargins's avatar

Oregon’s birth certificates can reflect true birth gender

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Oregon has opened the doors for transgender people to change their birth certificates to reflect who they truly were at birth. The only requirement is a doctors statement that their gender is true, there is no surgical requirement, just verification of the mental gender state of the person. This is a lovely change for the transgender population of Oregon. It allows ALL documents that run our life and our identity to sync. It will eliminate another unnecessary violation of privacy and lowers the risk of discrimination. This will help improve the possible quality of life available to transgender citizens by allowing smoother access to schools, housing, jobs, Social Security benefits and the many other things that require birth certificates.

This bill goes in to effect the first day of 2014.’

CHEERS OREGON! Thank you for setting a great example!

 

Oregons birth certificate bill!

 

For those wanting information about how to go about changing gender on a birth certificate in other states, here are a couple links I found that give some helpful information. Some of the information may be out of date, Oregon for example, but it is a good place to start.

Wiki Site on Changing Birth Certificate Gender

Dr.Becky Allison’s helpful list

Of course you should always do research and/or contact a local attorney to get the most updated information.

MarginsOfTheMargins's avatar

Anti-Gay Therapy Organization closing!!

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The organization Exodus that has been performing therapy to reverse or undo homosexual attraction is closing its doors after almost 40 years!!

The president stated that he had homosexual feelings that have never left him and he realizes that it is not possible to change ones sexual orientation. This is a great example of the reasons a person should do thorough self examination when feeling so vehemently against one specific issue. Humans are very good at identifying the pieces of others that we dislike most in our selves and attempting to squelch it in others in order to avoid the pain of identifying it as a traits one holds in their self.

This organization has been abusing impressionable, self doubting people, causing irreparable damage to their sense of self and identity, possibly even taken lives because of their false teachings. Closing their door will never repair the damage they have done, but at the least it will not create more, and it will serve to show others, that being gay is not a choice, or a temporary state of mind or being, it is something that cannot and will not change not matter what type of shock or therapy is applied.

And if you feel so strongly that it can be reversed, maybe you should take a long hard look at yourself, you might find the source of your opposition within you.

The article from Human Rights Campaign here

MarginsOfTheMargins's avatar

Being gay in Egypt

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There is a tremendous amount of risk being openly gay in most countries, but exponentially more in some. One of the most romatacized countries from the eyes of US Americans, Jamaica, is one of the most deadly places for queer people. This so called paradise is a place of execution if alternate sexualities are revealed. The middle east, is another region that is extremely dangerous to be openly queer. People are stripped of their dignity, social standing, excommunicated from their family and religion, and often killed. There is blame upon the queer person that they chose their orientation and a mentality, that it is a life event that created this, so it may be able to be undone. In an article I found on OUTIMPACT.COM, a young Muslim man from Egypt writes about being gay. He states that the gay culture moves just beneath the surface of mainstream culture, just as many marginalized groups feel they do. The suffering of the oppressed and shamed is always present in a culture, the racism, homeless, jobless, and sexual minorities.

He used to belong to the group Muslim Brotherhood, who has a tumultuous and mixed infamous reputation, being a grouped that began with righteous ideals and has strayed too far in to the dark of politics, What is Muslim Brotherhood, CNN; Muslim Brotherhood English website

The young man speaks about how he has been coached by his THERAPIST to not tell his family. Something that is unusual in this country, at least usually in the US we have a goal to eventually come out to our families. He has been told to keep it under wraps, “because there is a chance it may change,” and he doesn’t want to be ostracized from his family. He believes that he is gay because of the lack of a paternal figure in his life. On the same hand, he does not want to move to a place with greater freedom for homosexuals. He stands on the grounds that he should not be forced to leave the country he loves because he is gay.

I find this interview sad and haunting. His life is similar, yet so far away from the more privileged US gay rights movement. I know that being queer is still a danger in our society, resulting in beatings, and death, but we have more freedom. We have a GAy RIghts Movement. We are seen as humans and in general we believe we are born this way, and not thanks to Lady Gaga. We have parades and pride events. We build families and have lasting relationships, not just a shadow culture filled with insecurity and internal hate and prejudice. This young man believes it is his life experienced that shaped his sexuality, and that he may one day change. His culture has put the burden of his identity upon him. He is committing an ultimate sin against his culture and religion and it is his fault. He does not have a cultural movement around him to say, “no, you deserve rights, too! You are perfect just as you are!”

 

Read the interview and see the world from his eyes for just a moment…

Being Gay In Egypt

MarginsOfTheMargins's avatar

Coach loves to hate

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I will let this man speak for himself. He is well spoken, calm and eloquent. His elloquence brings more fear to my heart, that a well educated, and well spoken man can spew such golden covered hatred, its not surprising, i’m just used to hearing the rhetoric from politicians, not the everyday Joe. I wonder if he has forgotten that the bible he quotes for citing homosexuality as a sin has also been used to discriminate and enslave entire races of people, including his. It is always astonishing when human’s take the voice of God. He conveniently forgets the well known passage to love thy neighbor, and do unto other’s, as well as not using your own freedom to to harm; selective quotes and memory can be a sharp persuader.

In psychology, specifically Jungian psychology, we might ask him to examine what it is in his shadow Self that is causing such intense hatred. Humans see the things in others we dislike the most vehemently in ourselves. A lot of self reflection is necessary for a many who states peace but preaches hate.

http://www.hrc.org/blog/entry/cornhuskers-coach-stands-by-his-discriminatory-views

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Broken Promises in Puerto Rico

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Public degradation of LGBT community continues in Puerto Rico.
This is specifically relevant to this blog because of the reference in Queer Latinidad by Juana Rodriguez to the disproportionate number of Puerto Rican immigrants and natives that were infected with HIV in the epidemic. Some of the reasons of the reasons for this can be attributed to the discrimination and blame the LGBT Puerto Ricans experience in their own culture.

http://www.glaad.org/blog/vow-twice-broken-puerto-rican-show-promotes-anti-lgbt-messages-again

The article above shows the public degradation of LGBT community that continues in Puerto Rico even after a very public promise to change these ways, which an be read here:

http://www.glaad.org/2010/12/07/tv-station-creates-new-procedures-agrees-to-glaad-trainings-after-anti-gay-remarks-about-ricky-martin#